Wednesday, May 13, 2009

After Surgery

Well Surgery went well, except that I was sick from the anthesia and had to stay the night in the hospital. I kept trying to wake up and to feel well because I didn't want anyone to have to make the drive back to Highland Park. However, in the end I couldn't get it together and had to stay. Trina stayed with me, I told Mom I didn't want her to stay, I wanted her to go home and get a good night's rest. I've been trying to keep Mom away from the medical stuff as much as possible, because I think it's to stressful for her. I feel so guilty where she is concerned. She's by herself again and she's been making little remarks about being by herself and fussing about how Ferlando left. I knew that the surgery would make her feel responsible again and feel like she needs to do everthing for me again. For me, I need to get back to doing things for myself and I don't want to hear the fussing from Mom when things are not moving the way she thinks they should. I was glad that Trina stayed the night with me because the little nurse I had didn't want to do anything. My drainage tube leaked blood onthe bed and onto the floor. The nurse was slow to clean up the blood asked me if I wanted her to just put something on top of the sheets or re-make the bed. Well of course I didn't want to lay in any blood so I had her change the sheets. Then she just dumped the top covers back on me. So Trina fixed the covers properly. I puked each time I got up to go to the bathroom until about 2AM. I was finally able to eat a little something and keep it down around 8AM. Breyen and Tyler picked me up from the hospital. When I got home yesterday, Mom was at the house, she had cleaned and was waiting for me to let her know what I wanted to eat. I know she wants to help but then she complains about being tired and her back hurting so from my perspective there's no need for her to tire herself out. I really am doing pretty well and really wanting to get back to doing as much as I can for myself.

Today just on impusle I told Mom I could empty my own plate and that set her off. Later Breyen found her in the driveway sitiing in her car asleep. I am really worried about her, but there's not much I can do so I will pray.

I haven't had much drainage today and I have been doing my arm exercises as instructed by the doctor. I am a little sore, but it's not bad. The doctor is out of town for the rest of the week, so I have to keep the drain in until Monday, then I will hike back up to Highland Park to have the drainage tube removed. In the meand time, Tyler has prom and her last highschool conference track meet so it should all be very exciting. Breyen has been around this week as well...we'll see how that goes. I'll call the oncologist on Thursday, at that time I'll set up an appointment to discuss the beginning of radiation.

Just keep praying that all will be well. JoAnne got some good news, they think they found her Mom's cancer early. I feel like I need to be Forrest Gump...I just want to run.....

Holla

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