Thanksgiving was a day of mixed emotions. It was quiet, at least for me. Breyen and Rachel cooked the dishes that I would typically contribute to the Thanksgiving meal. I am really proud of them for putting forth the effort. They did a good job for the first time. It was funny because they got really tired and realized how much work it is to prepare such a big feast.
I stayed in bed much of the day, talking on the phone and catching up with friends and family. Breyen and Tyler took me over to Mom's around 4pm. I was ready to eat. Aunt Girthy blessed the meal. She is 93 or 94 now, the last of my grandmother's siblings. She told me she is praying for me and that I get better. It almost made me cry. I don't know why some people make me cry when they tell me they are praying for me. Perhaps it's because I wonder if I'll live to be a ripe old age.
Dinner was good, but there was no joy. I took a break for a while and went into Ferlando's room for some quiet time. I had the opportunity to sit back and really see my family, and I didn't like what I saw. The young are so lost, immature, spoiled and selfish. They are babies raising babies. There's a huge generation gap. Somehow I thought initially that what's going on with me would help to bring family together, but that certainly in not the case, at least not across all of the family. I have to find a new place mentally in this family. I miss Aintee she was good at keeping family together, but I'll keep praying we'll get there. My sister and I had an opportunity to talk that was nice, even though we kept getting interupted.
After dinner we watched movies, at least a few of us. The young people went in another room and took a nap, the babies ran around. I felt pretty useless. I guess it's a part of finding my new place.
I was glad I was not in the room when Mom's acid tongue went after Breyen. I talked to Breyen about it today and she was very hurt and angry. I told her to be the big person and not hold any grudges and that God would not like that. I hope I got through to her. There are some other things going on with her but she would not let me in. I can only pray.
There's a lot bottled up inside of me right now, but I can't seem to get it out. I could just scream!
I went to physical thearpy today and that felt really good. I ran on the thread mill at a speed of 5.0 with a 15 incline. The ideal is to workout during chemo and feel good during chemo. I find that the most encouraging aspect of all of this as I love to work out. I can't wait for Chris to get back hopefully we can get back to a reqular schedule. I won't be able to work out at the intensity level that we worked out at before but it will hold me until after chemol
Tyler drove me around today, she had a trying day. She did the black Friday shopping and someone stole her phone. Her Dad helped her replace it. I feel so sorry for her, it's her senior year and she's such a lively fun loving person and a damper has been put on her senior year. I hope al works out for her. She has a NCAA official visit next week and I don't know if I will be abler to attend, but somehow it will work out.
I am thankful for being here, thankful for family, thankful for so many blessings and looking forward to Thanksgiving day 2009 and getting together with family and contributing to the meal. It was just weird having to sit on the sidelines, but nice to just put my feet under the table, hard to hear family state of affairs. Thus the mixed emotions!
Looking forward to working out tomorrow, anyone want to join me for a workout!
Friday, November 28, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Thanksgiving
On Monday Chris took me to the Hospital for a MUGA Scan, which tests the strength of the heart. The heart needs to be strong because one of the Chemo drugs can adversely affect the heart. It was another scan that required and IV, oh joy! Chris was a gem. She waited patiently and treated me to breakfast afterward. I had an opportuntity to discuss my condition with Chris. I was worried because she lost her sister and her father to cancer. I did not want her to be faced with that with me. She admitted that had crossed her mind. I plan to be here to live and continue to run, work out, golf and have play dates with Chris. I am thankful Chris is going to hang in there with me. She is also she is going to help me with my physical thearpy.
I saw the plastic surgeon yesterday. He decided that I didn't need any more stretching which is good cause it's so uncomfortable. He also drew fluid from my back. I had not been able to sleep on my right side because it hurt. It also hurt to have the needle stuck in my back to withdraw the fluid from my back, but it felt so much better afterward and I was able to sleep on my right side. The fluid is already starting build again so now I will need to go every week to have the fluid drawn down. I am glad I will be able to sleep on my right side because after the port for the chemo is put in my chest on the left side, I will not be able to sleep on that side. The port will be put in next Thursday and I will receive the first chemo treatment the same day.
Today I went to physical thearpy for the first time. It was actually fun. It was a little like being in the gym, so you know that felt good to me, esp. since I've gained this weight. I have to find a happy balance with this weight thing, cause today I put on a pair of pants that were entirely too tight and I wear these pants all the time. It has been explained to me that I will probably gain weight because the anti nausea drugs and other steriod given to help you feel well make you gain weight. I'm in trouble cause I have no big clothes and surely can't afford to buy any. Oh well I'll work on that later.
Breyen and Tyler are at odds with each other. It makes for a very uncomfortable environment. Breyen is kinda back to her old ways and Tyler has little tolerance for it this time around. I've set them down and talk to both of them regarding what I will need from them while on chemo. I can only pray that hey hear me and will respect my wishes. It makes me a little nervous to be here in the house with them and feeling weak. Louis tried talking to Breyen but nothing seem to make a difference. I have to give it over to prayer. Funny thing though Breyen is being very helpful preparing for Thanksgiving dinner. Rachel brought most of the food and tonight she and Breyen got in the kitchen and got busy. Rachel made potatoe salad, Breyen prepared the potato casserole, she's working on the homemade rolls and the german chocolate cake. Tyler's best friend's Mom made me a banan pudding and it's almost gone, so I don't think it will make Thanksgiving!
It feels strange to me because I usally prepare these foods and dinner is usually at my house. I'm glad I didn't have to take it on. I could have, but it's been nice sitting back and watching. Hopefully, it will taste as good...yeap I just gave myself a pat on back. I'm still not absolutely sure where we are having dinner, either at Babysister's or Mom's. It will be my first time just putting my feet under the table and eat and I don't even have to wash dishes afterward. A girl could get use to this. Aggg...not really, I look forward to next year and getting back to cooking. However, I do realize that this is a good experience for the girls! I will need to just pray for the girls!
I will go wig shopping next week, I need to be prepared cause I have a big head and I don't know if I can do bald in public. I've already cut my hair short, but I know it will still be hard to see my hair fall out. We'll see how it goes.
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I am giving Thanks for being here, for my support from family and friends and the good health of family and friends as well as the cure that I know God has planned for me.
Happy Thanks giving
I saw the plastic surgeon yesterday. He decided that I didn't need any more stretching which is good cause it's so uncomfortable. He also drew fluid from my back. I had not been able to sleep on my right side because it hurt. It also hurt to have the needle stuck in my back to withdraw the fluid from my back, but it felt so much better afterward and I was able to sleep on my right side. The fluid is already starting build again so now I will need to go every week to have the fluid drawn down. I am glad I will be able to sleep on my right side because after the port for the chemo is put in my chest on the left side, I will not be able to sleep on that side. The port will be put in next Thursday and I will receive the first chemo treatment the same day.
Today I went to physical thearpy for the first time. It was actually fun. It was a little like being in the gym, so you know that felt good to me, esp. since I've gained this weight. I have to find a happy balance with this weight thing, cause today I put on a pair of pants that were entirely too tight and I wear these pants all the time. It has been explained to me that I will probably gain weight because the anti nausea drugs and other steriod given to help you feel well make you gain weight. I'm in trouble cause I have no big clothes and surely can't afford to buy any. Oh well I'll work on that later.
Breyen and Tyler are at odds with each other. It makes for a very uncomfortable environment. Breyen is kinda back to her old ways and Tyler has little tolerance for it this time around. I've set them down and talk to both of them regarding what I will need from them while on chemo. I can only pray that hey hear me and will respect my wishes. It makes me a little nervous to be here in the house with them and feeling weak. Louis tried talking to Breyen but nothing seem to make a difference. I have to give it over to prayer. Funny thing though Breyen is being very helpful preparing for Thanksgiving dinner. Rachel brought most of the food and tonight she and Breyen got in the kitchen and got busy. Rachel made potatoe salad, Breyen prepared the potato casserole, she's working on the homemade rolls and the german chocolate cake. Tyler's best friend's Mom made me a banan pudding and it's almost gone, so I don't think it will make Thanksgiving!
It feels strange to me because I usally prepare these foods and dinner is usually at my house. I'm glad I didn't have to take it on. I could have, but it's been nice sitting back and watching. Hopefully, it will taste as good...yeap I just gave myself a pat on back. I'm still not absolutely sure where we are having dinner, either at Babysister's or Mom's. It will be my first time just putting my feet under the table and eat and I don't even have to wash dishes afterward. A girl could get use to this. Aggg...not really, I look forward to next year and getting back to cooking. However, I do realize that this is a good experience for the girls! I will need to just pray for the girls!
I will go wig shopping next week, I need to be prepared cause I have a big head and I don't know if I can do bald in public. I've already cut my hair short, but I know it will still be hard to see my hair fall out. We'll see how it goes.
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I am giving Thanks for being here, for my support from family and friends and the good health of family and friends as well as the cure that I know God has planned for me.
Happy Thanks giving
Sunday, November 23, 2008
A better Place
I woke up this morning and called PeeWee. We talked on the phone like old times. We used to talked every weekend for hours and that's what we did today. It felt good. We talked about our families our hopes, our fears and our futures. We also talked about our past, who would have thought we would be where we are today. Funny how things work out. But talking to her today reminded me of who I am. I've never run away from anything before, I've stood tall and fought the fight. I've been in this funk lately, filled with fear and anxiety and talking to my friene today made me realize that's it's time to stand up and fight. God has already given me the victory already I just have to claim it. When I think about all of the people in the world who are sick and have crippling ailments, financial problems, family problems, etc. I realize I'm pretty blessed.
I'm not looking forward to chemo, but my prayer continues to for healng so I will also pray for a smooth healing and few side effects from the chemo. Pee Wee's mom told me it wasn't easy but she got through and my cousin Learlean did quite well, so I'll make it though. With Christ all things are possible".
It's time to get back to life and living it to whatever capacity and quality I have the ability to live. I will fight this battle and I will not fight the battle of others; my children, my family, etc. I have to look inside work on my inner being and my innter strength. As Ferlando said tonight when he came by to pick up Mom...He said his father told him that his grandmother told his mother that "sight is not in the eyes" I have to stop looking with my eyes, I have to look whit Jesus, with my inner vision and my faith.
Babysister came by today and took me out to lunch. Talking to her too let me know that God has been good to me. We see with our eyes what's going on around us but our vision is clearer when focused on Jesus. Thank you Babysister for sharing for being there, for listening things will not be this way always.
I'm in a better place!
I'm not looking forward to chemo, but my prayer continues to for healng so I will also pray for a smooth healing and few side effects from the chemo. Pee Wee's mom told me it wasn't easy but she got through and my cousin Learlean did quite well, so I'll make it though. With Christ all things are possible".
It's time to get back to life and living it to whatever capacity and quality I have the ability to live. I will fight this battle and I will not fight the battle of others; my children, my family, etc. I have to look inside work on my inner being and my innter strength. As Ferlando said tonight when he came by to pick up Mom...He said his father told him that his grandmother told his mother that "sight is not in the eyes" I have to stop looking with my eyes, I have to look whit Jesus, with my inner vision and my faith.
Babysister came by today and took me out to lunch. Talking to her too let me know that God has been good to me. We see with our eyes what's going on around us but our vision is clearer when focused on Jesus. Thank you Babysister for sharing for being there, for listening things will not be this way always.
I'm in a better place!
Friday, November 21, 2008
I went walking today
Chris picked me up this morning, took me to the health club and we walked around the track for a about a half hour. I think we walked a little over a mile. It felt good. Chris wouldn't let me walk fast, but that's okay, I'll walk a little faster next time. Mom was at the club in an exercise class...I wonder if she planned that. It's funny, the world is really small Mom was in class and Chris' mom was exercising right next to her.
Chris took me back home. She offered to take me to an appointment on Monday morning and I'm going to take her up on it. I have to have what's called a MUGA scan. It looks at the heart to determine if the heart is healthy enough because one of the side affects of one of the chemo drugs is heart problems. I called to schedule the scan and found out that I will need another IV. I guess I just have to get used to it, but I should was dismayed to hear that another IV is required. Oh well.
Later my friend Dorothy picked myself and Nona up for lunch. Nona was T-boned in a car accident a few months ago and is having some health issues as well. Dorothy took us to her house for lunch. She has a lovely home. She set an elegant table for us. We had chicken and crab meat salad on a bed of lettuce with crackers and a slice of cantaloupe and grapes. It made me feel pretty special. After lunch we spent hours talking about everything and nothing. It was a good day and nice to be out.
When I came home, Tyler had lots of news to tell me about possible recruitement opportunities including a coach who would like to stop in to visit her tomorrow. I know she wants to go to a warm climate but with my health and finances what is I hope she will get a scholarship and can be happy where ever she goes and that she does well.
I talked to both of the girls about keeping the house clean and helping out more. It's disappointing to me that they don't step up to the plate more. Hopefullyl, they will grow and at least try to understand what's happening with me and help out more. They are both really spoiled; I guess that's my fault. However, I was spoiled growing up and yet I understood when my mother needed help. We kept the house clean, cleaned my mother's room and ran bath water for her when we knew she was on her way home. I have talked to the girls every night about cleaning the kitchen...it's an on going discussion that I seem to be having with myself. Here it is tonigt at midnight and I'm still telling them to get the kitchen cleaned. I pray that I don't get sick on chemo because I'm truly worried about being here with the two of them becasue they are focused on them. I'll kept praying. I don't have the energy to fight.
Hopefully, I will get my hair done in the morning. I think I'm going to go ahead and get it cut. I need to start shopping for wigs or scarves or something.
I still have thoughts of why this is happening...can somebody tell me...what's up with this. Anyway, today was a good day.
Chris took me back home. She offered to take me to an appointment on Monday morning and I'm going to take her up on it. I have to have what's called a MUGA scan. It looks at the heart to determine if the heart is healthy enough because one of the side affects of one of the chemo drugs is heart problems. I called to schedule the scan and found out that I will need another IV. I guess I just have to get used to it, but I should was dismayed to hear that another IV is required. Oh well.
Later my friend Dorothy picked myself and Nona up for lunch. Nona was T-boned in a car accident a few months ago and is having some health issues as well. Dorothy took us to her house for lunch. She has a lovely home. She set an elegant table for us. We had chicken and crab meat salad on a bed of lettuce with crackers and a slice of cantaloupe and grapes. It made me feel pretty special. After lunch we spent hours talking about everything and nothing. It was a good day and nice to be out.
When I came home, Tyler had lots of news to tell me about possible recruitement opportunities including a coach who would like to stop in to visit her tomorrow. I know she wants to go to a warm climate but with my health and finances what is I hope she will get a scholarship and can be happy where ever she goes and that she does well.
I talked to both of the girls about keeping the house clean and helping out more. It's disappointing to me that they don't step up to the plate more. Hopefullyl, they will grow and at least try to understand what's happening with me and help out more. They are both really spoiled; I guess that's my fault. However, I was spoiled growing up and yet I understood when my mother needed help. We kept the house clean, cleaned my mother's room and ran bath water for her when we knew she was on her way home. I have talked to the girls every night about cleaning the kitchen...it's an on going discussion that I seem to be having with myself. Here it is tonigt at midnight and I'm still telling them to get the kitchen cleaned. I pray that I don't get sick on chemo because I'm truly worried about being here with the two of them becasue they are focused on them. I'll kept praying. I don't have the energy to fight.
Hopefully, I will get my hair done in the morning. I think I'm going to go ahead and get it cut. I need to start shopping for wigs or scarves or something.
I still have thoughts of why this is happening...can somebody tell me...what's up with this. Anyway, today was a good day.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
The Scan Results
Today was a good day. Scary Cat Tira faced her fears and came by to see me after Darlene threatened to blow up her house! :) It was good to see her. Tira always has such a good sense of humor and keeps me laughing. Mom was here while Tira was visiting and she even had Mom laughing out loud. Tira sat with us until it was time to go to the doctor.
I went to see the Oncologist today to get the results of my scans. I prayed about the results last night so when I went into the Dr's office, I was feeling pretty good and confident that all would be well. When the doctor came in and started to read the results of the scans, my heart started to be a little face. He said the Bone Scan showed no other cancer and the CT scan showed no other cancer. It did show a dot in the liver and the space where the right breast was removed but said that is not uncommon, they don't know what it is but it's seen on most scans. They'll watch it but it's usually nothing. I believed before I went in that all would be well and God made it so.I found my self thanking God, feeling good and smiling a lot.
Now I just have to go through the treatment. I met with a nurse by the name of Kay who explained to me what type of chemo drugs I would receive. I will receive three different drugs, two at the same time, both of which are very strong. We reveiwed the side effects which are many but the most common of course is hair loss. I explained that my hair has already been falling out so they orderd some testing to check that out because it may be from something else. The other side effects are fatigue, weakness and nausea...fun stuff...huh! I will be on treatment for about six to eight months, then radiation...and possibly more surgery at some point. However, if the chemo does what we want it to do, a second surgery may be avoided. We're cross that bridge when we get to it, and I will apply prayer which is the strongest medicine.
I talked to JoAnne tonight, she told me she couldn't sleep last night. She told me that earlier today but tonight she confessed that she couldn't sleep because she was worried about me and the results of the scans. Well God is good. It made shed some tears (I've been doing a lot of that lately) because I didn't want to make her cry...I feel so helpless. Annie called for scan results, she was rather quiet when I gave her the news. I think she thought that I would not have to do chemo. Well girls we are going to have to go wig shopping. Let's make a date it should be fun. I want to laugh about it while I can. Yall know I got a big head, and this head with no hair will be no joke, scary thought. I was always worried about covering up my big forehead with banes now I will have to cover the whole thing...let's hope it's not too daunting of a task. PeeWee told me I could join her in the no hair category,but I told her she has a little head as her husband saids she has a pea size head. I have a pumpkin head so it won't be so easy. Well I gotta love it, my big head that is. The Dr. said the hair would be gone by the second treatment...that's okay I'll still be here and that's what counts!
How am I really feeling....Happy that the scans did not show more cancer. I'm still wondering where this cancer came from. I'm praying for healing in a way that the Dr's. will be in awe of what God can do. I'm worried about my future and if my body will be able to handle the chemo, but I'v gotten this far. I worry that Breyen and Tyler may be affected in someway and talk to them about checking their breast. Tyler's friend Erica had to have a biospy ....she's 18. I pray all is well, it's hard enough to go through this at my age let alone so young. I pray that God will touch her with his healing hands and make all well for her. I think this is crazy...what is this. I pray that this cancer thing killed, cured, for all no matter the type of cancer.
As I go forward I have to focus on staying healthy, good nutrition and finding fiancial stability for my family. I'm working on getting assistance to pay for chemo. It's a lot all at once, but I know God will not give me more than I can bear. I just hope that I've met that capacity and things will turn around and get better.
I'm healing from the surgery, my energy level is still low so I know chemo will be tough for me. I'm still working on getting full range of motion back in my arm. I am looking forward to getting back in my car and driving myself around. Yeah Ms. Daisy wants to get in the drivers seat. My car is dirty, I need to get back in it so I can have it clean and adjust the mirrors to one spot for one driver. I like being a passenger, but I also like to drive sometimes and I'm looking forward to getting back to driving.
Chris will get me in the morning so I can start my walking program. Dorothy and Nona will get me for lunch. People are good, I've been allowed to see the good in so many people....I hope you all know that their are lots of good people in the world. Even the nurse from the first biospy called to check on me an sent me a book(The Pink Book) on breast cancer. So much compassion and they don't even know me. I'm telling you it's overwhelming wonderful!
I went to see the Oncologist today to get the results of my scans. I prayed about the results last night so when I went into the Dr's office, I was feeling pretty good and confident that all would be well. When the doctor came in and started to read the results of the scans, my heart started to be a little face. He said the Bone Scan showed no other cancer and the CT scan showed no other cancer. It did show a dot in the liver and the space where the right breast was removed but said that is not uncommon, they don't know what it is but it's seen on most scans. They'll watch it but it's usually nothing. I believed before I went in that all would be well and God made it so.I found my self thanking God, feeling good and smiling a lot.
Now I just have to go through the treatment. I met with a nurse by the name of Kay who explained to me what type of chemo drugs I would receive. I will receive three different drugs, two at the same time, both of which are very strong. We reveiwed the side effects which are many but the most common of course is hair loss. I explained that my hair has already been falling out so they orderd some testing to check that out because it may be from something else. The other side effects are fatigue, weakness and nausea...fun stuff...huh! I will be on treatment for about six to eight months, then radiation...and possibly more surgery at some point. However, if the chemo does what we want it to do, a second surgery may be avoided. We're cross that bridge when we get to it, and I will apply prayer which is the strongest medicine.
I talked to JoAnne tonight, she told me she couldn't sleep last night. She told me that earlier today but tonight she confessed that she couldn't sleep because she was worried about me and the results of the scans. Well God is good. It made shed some tears (I've been doing a lot of that lately) because I didn't want to make her cry...I feel so helpless. Annie called for scan results, she was rather quiet when I gave her the news. I think she thought that I would not have to do chemo. Well girls we are going to have to go wig shopping. Let's make a date it should be fun. I want to laugh about it while I can. Yall know I got a big head, and this head with no hair will be no joke, scary thought. I was always worried about covering up my big forehead with banes now I will have to cover the whole thing...let's hope it's not too daunting of a task. PeeWee told me I could join her in the no hair category,but I told her she has a little head as her husband saids she has a pea size head. I have a pumpkin head so it won't be so easy. Well I gotta love it, my big head that is. The Dr. said the hair would be gone by the second treatment...that's okay I'll still be here and that's what counts!
How am I really feeling....Happy that the scans did not show more cancer. I'm still wondering where this cancer came from. I'm praying for healing in a way that the Dr's. will be in awe of what God can do. I'm worried about my future and if my body will be able to handle the chemo, but I'v gotten this far. I worry that Breyen and Tyler may be affected in someway and talk to them about checking their breast. Tyler's friend Erica had to have a biospy ....she's 18. I pray all is well, it's hard enough to go through this at my age let alone so young. I pray that God will touch her with his healing hands and make all well for her. I think this is crazy...what is this. I pray that this cancer thing killed, cured, for all no matter the type of cancer.
As I go forward I have to focus on staying healthy, good nutrition and finding fiancial stability for my family. I'm working on getting assistance to pay for chemo. It's a lot all at once, but I know God will not give me more than I can bear. I just hope that I've met that capacity and things will turn around and get better.
I'm healing from the surgery, my energy level is still low so I know chemo will be tough for me. I'm still working on getting full range of motion back in my arm. I am looking forward to getting back in my car and driving myself around. Yeah Ms. Daisy wants to get in the drivers seat. My car is dirty, I need to get back in it so I can have it clean and adjust the mirrors to one spot for one driver. I like being a passenger, but I also like to drive sometimes and I'm looking forward to getting back to driving.
Chris will get me in the morning so I can start my walking program. Dorothy and Nona will get me for lunch. People are good, I've been allowed to see the good in so many people....I hope you all know that their are lots of good people in the world. Even the nurse from the first biospy called to check on me an sent me a book(The Pink Book) on breast cancer. So much compassion and they don't even know me. I'm telling you it's overwhelming wonderful!
No More Cancer
Today was a good day. Scary Cat Tira faced her fears and came by to see me after Darlene threatened to blow up her house! :) It was good to see her. Tira always has such a good sense of humor and
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Tired
Monday Clara and I went out take care of business. Clara drove me around everywhere I needed to go. We stood in line for the Link card for an hour and a half. I did get the link card, after standing in line it only took five minutes. From there we went to lunch, we had soup and salad at Olive Garden. When we left, I left my cell phone and scarf...that's just how short my mind is. We got all the way home before I remebered so we had to go back. I hated to go back because I was tired but I was glad to get my phone back. We made a few more stops and went back and stopped by to see Mom and Ferlando. Ferlando is struggling with watching his Dad preparing for his next home. I wish I could reach out and make it all better for him, but I can only listen be supportive. I know it's hard, even when we know a loved one is about to leave us, the shock of when they leave is still there. I'm very proud of him though, he's been very patient and taking care of business. I will keep his Dad in my prayers.
Yesterday, I think I did a little much. I was too tired to blog last night, that's how tired I was. Clara took me out to get my nails and my eye brows done. It help me to feel much better. Now I just have to get a handle on this eating. My butt is growing and I'm feeling sluggish carrying this extra weight around. I called the Dr. and spoke to the Lauren, the nurse and was given permissison to get back to the club to start walking! I'm looking forward to it. I'm not used to getting so tired from just moving about let alone actually exercising.
Clara and I then headed to city to see her aunt and although I just sat there, I was really tired and I kept dozing. So we headed back, but we stopped by Mom's first. Ferlando needed to talk. While we were there, Mom decided to cook dinner. Clara and I took Tyler to the mall while Mom was cooking. I was so exhausted, we had to cut that trip short. Tyler was disappointed because she wanted to shop but there was nothing I could do, I was so very tired. Tyler did the the driving and I had to tell her to get off of her cell phone. I told her three times and she acted like she didn't hear me and when I insisted she was augmentive. I didn't have the strength to argue but stood my ground and she finally did what I asked. The situation made me feel weak and embarassed as Clara was with us and out done that Tyler did not respond to my request. Well all things considered she does 99.9% of what I ask, maybe she was having a moment. I guess we're all entitled.
When we got home, I put my PJ's on and hit the couch. It was all I could do. I don't know why I was so tired unless it was a combination of all of the activity since the weekend. Clara and I tried to watch Kings of Comedy bug I think it watched us. :)
Today I stayed in bed late, that is until Oprah went off. I was still tired when I got up. Clara made breakfast for me and Mom stopped by for a while. BabySister stopped by later for the shopping list for Thanksgiving, now we just need to decide where we will have dinner.
Clara left today. Breyen drove us to the Midway Airport. I was good. I got out of the car and gave Clara a hug and thanked her for all she did for me. I told myself that I was not going to cry and I didn't, atleast not right away. As Breyen and I were driving home, we talked about friends and the wonderful friends that I have in my life. We talked about how good Clara was to me as well as my other friends. It brought tears to my eyes...tears that I held back at the airport. God has truly blessed me with wonderful Friends. I am truly thankful! I spent the rest of the day resting. I will go to bed early tonight, hopefully, my energy level will return tomorrow. I do have to go out to see the oncologist tomorrow. I'm going in positive, praying that there is nothing more.
Shawvn stopped by tonight, she brought me a breast cancer angel and lots of laughs. I'm glad she stopped by. Tira called tonight, she said she will stop by in the morning. Darlene threatened her, told her to get her booty over here to see me. Tira is afraid to see me. I'm still me girl, "just kicking but not high. I continue to get cards from friends, family, church members, friends of friends...Thank you all so very much. I am getting stronger every day, it's a long journey but I plan to come out victorious!
Yesterday, I think I did a little much. I was too tired to blog last night, that's how tired I was. Clara took me out to get my nails and my eye brows done. It help me to feel much better. Now I just have to get a handle on this eating. My butt is growing and I'm feeling sluggish carrying this extra weight around. I called the Dr. and spoke to the Lauren, the nurse and was given permissison to get back to the club to start walking! I'm looking forward to it. I'm not used to getting so tired from just moving about let alone actually exercising.
Clara and I then headed to city to see her aunt and although I just sat there, I was really tired and I kept dozing. So we headed back, but we stopped by Mom's first. Ferlando needed to talk. While we were there, Mom decided to cook dinner. Clara and I took Tyler to the mall while Mom was cooking. I was so exhausted, we had to cut that trip short. Tyler was disappointed because she wanted to shop but there was nothing I could do, I was so very tired. Tyler did the the driving and I had to tell her to get off of her cell phone. I told her three times and she acted like she didn't hear me and when I insisted she was augmentive. I didn't have the strength to argue but stood my ground and she finally did what I asked. The situation made me feel weak and embarassed as Clara was with us and out done that Tyler did not respond to my request. Well all things considered she does 99.9% of what I ask, maybe she was having a moment. I guess we're all entitled.
When we got home, I put my PJ's on and hit the couch. It was all I could do. I don't know why I was so tired unless it was a combination of all of the activity since the weekend. Clara and I tried to watch Kings of Comedy bug I think it watched us. :)
Today I stayed in bed late, that is until Oprah went off. I was still tired when I got up. Clara made breakfast for me and Mom stopped by for a while. BabySister stopped by later for the shopping list for Thanksgiving, now we just need to decide where we will have dinner.
Clara left today. Breyen drove us to the Midway Airport. I was good. I got out of the car and gave Clara a hug and thanked her for all she did for me. I told myself that I was not going to cry and I didn't, atleast not right away. As Breyen and I were driving home, we talked about friends and the wonderful friends that I have in my life. We talked about how good Clara was to me as well as my other friends. It brought tears to my eyes...tears that I held back at the airport. God has truly blessed me with wonderful Friends. I am truly thankful! I spent the rest of the day resting. I will go to bed early tonight, hopefully, my energy level will return tomorrow. I do have to go out to see the oncologist tomorrow. I'm going in positive, praying that there is nothing more.
Shawvn stopped by tonight, she brought me a breast cancer angel and lots of laughs. I'm glad she stopped by. Tira called tonight, she said she will stop by in the morning. Darlene threatened her, told her to get her booty over here to see me. Tira is afraid to see me. I'm still me girl, "just kicking but not high. I continue to get cards from friends, family, church members, friends of friends...Thank you all so very much. I am getting stronger every day, it's a long journey but I plan to come out victorious!
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