Reflection

Tyler and I had an opportunity to reflect on this past year. She said she remembers how sad she was when I was going through chemo. I told her I was amazed at the support I received. I was most disappointed in Breyen yet I understood that she was handlin my illness the best way she knew how. I told her Grandma was a God send, dispite some of the things she did to drive me crazy. I don't know what Iwould have done without her.

It's a been a long year and prayerfully I won't ever have to go back down that route.

Today, they are till stuggling to find a hormone for me to take for the next five years to help protect against recurrence. The lymphedema is under control for now. I still have not received
my custom sleeve. The guy I was working with was a greedy little bugger who didn't give a crap about the patients he services. So I have to find someone else and start the process over.

I had date a few weeks ago. It was fun. However, not so sure there will be more dates to follow. That's ok cause I still have to work on me. I've been trying really hard to loose weight, nothing seems to work but I'm not giving up.

I have consultantion scheduled in Dec to see if my skin has healed enough from the radiation to finish up the breast reconstruction. I hope it's ready because I'm ready. I hope he will also be able to do a size reduction...I hate having big boobs! I used to pray when I was growing up not to have big boobs I got caught up in the hype got 'em a little bigger and I don't like it at all. We'll see.

The job is taxing. I don't have the energy I use to have and it's hard to focus. It gettng a little easier maybe in time it will get better. Working two jobs is really hard so I have to plan rest times so that I don't wipe myself out. I work the part time job two days week. I know it doesn't sound like much but it kicks my butt. And, I don't like working on Sundays but until something else opens up I'll deal with it. Chris an I are alternating Sunday's so that helps a lot. I use the extra money as Tyler's allowance, gas sometimes and groceries sometimes. My fiances as a whole are shot but I try not to worry about that; hopefully it will work itself out in the years to come.

My hair is growing back. It's long enough to braid and still super curly! Maybe this time next year it will be back. It's totally out of control...it does it's own thing, but I'm glad it's here.

Well I start the new hormone this week, it has lots of ugly side effects. If it does me too bad, I'm not going to take it. I followed all of the doctor's recommendations so far and sometimes I've been no better off, so we shall see how this new drug works.

Holla back!