It's Christmas Eve

Well It's Christmas eve. I'm kinda feeling thrown away, like I should just be in the dog house waiting for some water and hay. My family is at odds and of a sudden I can't get folks to do simple things. I pray that we get better. My girls are slow to respond to my requests, quick to respond to their friends. My mother is doing everything she can even though I know she doesn't feel well and that positive attitude still has not surfaced. However I can't talk, as positive as I've tried to be I'm slipping. This Chemo is kicking my ass! Seven days since the last treatment and I still haven't recovered. I'm light headed dizzy, just don't feel well and dreading the next treatment. My nephew surprised me I saw a side I didn't understand but I guess it's not for me to understand. I just have to continue push forward and fight for my health. In all the blogging, I can't tell you what this is like. I complained to my physical thearpist today and I feel bad about that cause it changes nothing, I have to remember....It is what it is. I'm trying to hang in there with where everyone else is in their life, after all "It's about me for me".

I did remember to call Ms. Washington and Linda to say Happy Birthday. Shanita sent me a beautiful watch, Vanessa brought me lunch and spent some time with me before leaving tomorrow for Vegas. Lot of calls today. It's just after 6 PM and I am exhausted. I'm in bed afraid to lie down without drinking. But baby steps, I'll get there.

Family is coming over tomorrow. I hope I'm better and that I don't get any colds or anything. I hope everyone will be of good cheer and will leave their favorite scents home so that I don't get neaseated and sick. It's a strange christmas for me....I just want my health, to feel good to be good and have a clear head. Speaking of head, the hair I have left on my head is dead and is falling out. I hope that Mitzi can come by and shave it all off. It's not fun having dead hair on your head and leaving a trail of shedding everywhere you go. I thought would be upset about loosing my hair but so far I'm not.

I will try to moisturize and put on a little make up tomorrow....may I really will look better and feel better.