Well I already knew that I did not fall into that "most" category. Recall that the doctor said that most people don't feel anything with radiation until half through or almost done. I have only had three treatments and the burn has began. I talked to the doctor today and she recommended that I take tylenol or alieve. I have been using the cream and aloe vera and still the burn. If it gets too bad I will refulse to finish up the raditaion. I've had enough. I'm tired. Tired of hurting when I get up in the morning, tired of not being able to do the things I used to do just six months ago. Tired of my shoulder hurting, tired of my knee hurting, tire of this ugly short tight curly hair, tired of man's cure for cancer tearing me down. Tired of the bill collectors, tired of the children thinking the world is waiting for them, tired of feeling dizzy all the time, tired of folks depending on me to get things done. I have no more strategies, solutions, energy you name it. I guess I'll think about the rest tomorrow. Just Praying!
Holla
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
After Radiation
I am still fighting this cold. I have a sore throat. I had a few antibiotics but the sore throat just doubled back. I will try calling the doctor tomorrow. I am not sure if it's the radiation but right now I am just fatigued. My bones hurt and my knee is swollen and painful. The neuropathy is acting up in my feet. My back hurts. I really need to feel and live the statment "this too shall pass" .
All things considered I am well. Tyler and I went to U of I today. She has a tough schedule for her freshman year, hopefully that too will work itself out. I wish she were more excited about school. It will be challenging but it will be fun if she will allow it to be. I'm gonna miss her but I am also excited for her!
I have the next radiation treatment tomorrow. I'll holla back later
All things considered I am well. Tyler and I went to U of I today. She has a tough schedule for her freshman year, hopefully that too will work itself out. I wish she were more excited about school. It will be challenging but it will be fun if she will allow it to be. I'm gonna miss her but I am also excited for her!
I have the next radiation treatment tomorrow. I'll holla back later
Monday, June 15, 2009
The first day of Radiiation
Today I did get radiation. When I arrived I went straight to the dressing room. I put on a gown and a robe. The tech came to get me and we went into the room where the xray machine is kept. I laid on a table with my right breast exposed and it took about ten minutes and I was on my way. I didn't feel a thing. However, I did use the cream that was prescribed to prevent burning. When I left the doctor's office I went and sat with Chris for awhile. I came home and took Jasmine out for a walk and then headed to physical thearpy. I'm really feeling sluggish because I am still fight this cold and now I have a sore throat. I took a nap, got up and went to the track. I didn't stay because I was not feeling well. I went to the health food store to see if I could find something that would help me fight the sore throat. I called the doctor but can't get into see him until Thursday. I have to take Tyler to U of I tomorrow, so I hope I feel better in the morning.
Well 29 more treatments to go. Hopefully my skin will hold up and I won't get much burning and irriatation and the fatigue will not set in. I'm already so fatigued from the chemo and now this cold. The tell me chemo side effects should go away in about six months. Three down three to go. Praying this will be over soon.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAR!
Holla
Well 29 more treatments to go. Hopefully my skin will hold up and I won't get much burning and irriatation and the fatigue will not set in. I'm already so fatigued from the chemo and now this cold. The tell me chemo side effects should go away in about six months. Three down three to go. Praying this will be over soon.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAR!
Holla
Sunday, June 14, 2009
The day before Radiotion Treatment #1
Well tomorrow is the day for the first radiation treatment. I thoought they were going to start on last Friday but instead they did more marking. The nurse offered to tatto the marks needed for radiation and I looked at her like she was crazy. She told me the tatoo would just look like freckles and that most of their patients get the tatoo. Well as I said before I am not "most". I have natural freckles I don't need any tatooed on and I have enough scars so I don't need to add anything to it. So the nurse told me to think about it because other wise I would have to try to keep the marking on which she covered with clear tape.
Anyway my appointments are Monday thru Friday at 9 AM. I said I needed to get back to work. Well this will be like getting up to go to work. In addition I have physical thearpy three days a week. I still have a few issues with cording from the lymph node surgery. I am trying to get back to my exercise level because the radiology doctor told me to try to keep to what I would normally do but not to add anything new while getting radiation. Oh, and swimming is out. I have start on my multi vitamin and I'm really going to need it as radiation causes fatigue. And get this I had a wipe out day on Sat. I guess I over did it and the fatigue from chemo hit me like a rock. Also, I was fighting a cold. I went out did a interval job with Erica for two miles and walked one mile. I then went to a graduation party with Tyler. On Sat. when I woke up I could barely move. My body hurt terribly. I slept most of the day and really needed the rest. Today I also took it easy because I don't want to go into radiation fatigued. I went out briefly to get an aloe vera plant which I will use with the radiation creame that was prescribed to try to prevent the burning and irriatation as a result of the radiation. The doctor said I will probably start to burn about half way through. Well just pray that it doesn't happen and if it does that it is not bad. I have to have 30 treatments which adds of to six weeks. I will not get radiation if I am sick, if my blood count is too low, I just take a day off or their machine breaks down. If I stay on schedule I should be done by July 28. Thad includes missing this Tuesday June 16 because I have to take Tyler to U of I for registration and it includes the 4th of July because the doctor's office is closed on Friday July 3 in observance of Independence day. After that I get a six month break before going back for yet another surgery to finish up the breast reconstruction.
Well I got a response from disability. They want me to see a psychologist to determine if depression is a part of my claim. The hoops they make you jump, as if breast cancer gets your endorphins flowing!
Well as most you know, I have hair now. It is very curly but soft and very gray at least in the top. It will probably be months before I get enough for a ponytail. I can't wait! :)
Holla
Anyway my appointments are Monday thru Friday at 9 AM. I said I needed to get back to work. Well this will be like getting up to go to work. In addition I have physical thearpy three days a week. I still have a few issues with cording from the lymph node surgery. I am trying to get back to my exercise level because the radiology doctor told me to try to keep to what I would normally do but not to add anything new while getting radiation. Oh, and swimming is out. I have start on my multi vitamin and I'm really going to need it as radiation causes fatigue. And get this I had a wipe out day on Sat. I guess I over did it and the fatigue from chemo hit me like a rock. Also, I was fighting a cold. I went out did a interval job with Erica for two miles and walked one mile. I then went to a graduation party with Tyler. On Sat. when I woke up I could barely move. My body hurt terribly. I slept most of the day and really needed the rest. Today I also took it easy because I don't want to go into radiation fatigued. I went out briefly to get an aloe vera plant which I will use with the radiation creame that was prescribed to try to prevent the burning and irriatation as a result of the radiation. The doctor said I will probably start to burn about half way through. Well just pray that it doesn't happen and if it does that it is not bad. I have to have 30 treatments which adds of to six weeks. I will not get radiation if I am sick, if my blood count is too low, I just take a day off or their machine breaks down. If I stay on schedule I should be done by July 28. Thad includes missing this Tuesday June 16 because I have to take Tyler to U of I for registration and it includes the 4th of July because the doctor's office is closed on Friday July 3 in observance of Independence day. After that I get a six month break before going back for yet another surgery to finish up the breast reconstruction.
Well I got a response from disability. They want me to see a psychologist to determine if depression is a part of my claim. The hoops they make you jump, as if breast cancer gets your endorphins flowing!
Well as most you know, I have hair now. It is very curly but soft and very gray at least in the top. It will probably be months before I get enough for a ponytail. I can't wait! :)
Holla
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Radiation
Radiation begins tomorrow. This past Monday I went for a radiation consult. During the consult the doctor explained to me what to expect. A cat scan was done and my body was marked with two X's. The doctor explained that most patients do not have a problem with radiation. However, I am not usually in the "most" catergory. Perhaps this time I will be in the most category. That would be nice. The side effects are fatigue and burning of skin where the radiation is applied. I was given a prescription to use to try to prevent burning of the skin. I was told by another cancer survivior to use aloe vera from the plant as well. I am looking forward to getting this done and over with. Although I will have to take hormones for the next five years. I will be happy not to have to go to the doctor so often. Radiation will be every day Mon. - Fri. for the next six weeks.
I still have chemo side effects. Fatigue, but I push through and Neropathy in the mornings and late at night. And, my body aches to a point where I can barely move in the mornings. It's like being the Tin Man in the Wizard of OZ. Once I get up and get going I can move around like an well oiled machine. The other side effect of course is the weight gain and that doesn't seem to be going anywhere.
The cording from the lymph node surgery is getting better but still there. I'm wearing a sleeve for a few hours each day to see if that will help.
I am benn trying to get back on a running schedule but the fatigue slows me down. I will continue to work on getting back!
I am also getting my resume out, it's time to get back to work!
Holla
I still have chemo side effects. Fatigue, but I push through and Neropathy in the mornings and late at night. And, my body aches to a point where I can barely move in the mornings. It's like being the Tin Man in the Wizard of OZ. Once I get up and get going I can move around like an well oiled machine. The other side effect of course is the weight gain and that doesn't seem to be going anywhere.
The cording from the lymph node surgery is getting better but still there. I'm wearing a sleeve for a few hours each day to see if that will help.
I am benn trying to get back on a running schedule but the fatigue slows me down. I will continue to work on getting back!
I am also getting my resume out, it's time to get back to work!
Holla
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Catching up
Well it's been almost a month since I've updated the blog. I think about it often but sometimes I just want to forget all that is going on. Of course I can't do that since I am living it. The lymph node surgery went okay, I have had severe cording which limits the use of my arm and is very painful. As a result, I am back in physical thearpy two days a week to work on getting rid of the cording. Of all the pain since this started I think this is the worst. My arm gets really sore and mortrin does not help that. I work on my arm a lot myself as much as I can and it is getting better. Of course the doctors and physical thearapist tell me that this rarely happens...again I am the one in 100. I also go to physical thearpy a third day a week because my rotator cuff is still bothering me and now I have a IT band problem. I am trying to get back to running but the IT band problems is slowing me down. I do plan to participate in the Rock & Roll classic even if I have to walk.
Tomorrow I go to the doctor for my first radiation consult. So that starts soon. I am told that most people don't have a problem so I hope I can be among the most rather than the one. I will continue to work on getting my weight down. Everyone tells me I look good. It's good to hear but it's depressing for me to have the weight because I can't get into my clothes nor do I have money to buy new bigger ones. I just need to push back from the table and stop eating junk and I've been doing a terrible job at that. I do really need to loose the weight though because all of the research saids that women who are overweight (and I am over weight for my height and frame) are at a higher risk for recurrence of breast cancer. Now that I getting closer to completing the treatment, I ask myself often why this has happened to me and the best answer I can come up with is why not. It's hard to think long term into the future. I just take one day at a time. I do see other breast cancer survivors who live a long life so I know that's possible and also know that tomorrow is not promised to anyone.
I've been bothered by my scars lately and twice now God has told me that it could be worst. The first time I was complaining about the scars I saw a set of triplets on the news who had terrible burns. My scars didn't even compare. Then yesterday I saw a lady who's legs were scarred from a car accident. When she was telling about the scars she reminded me "you know where you've been but you sure don't know where going.
Well Tyler has been the highlight in my life of late. She came out of a funk at the end of her track season and kicked butt. She won three medals at state, she was voted MVP by her team members at HF and she was nominated for the 110% Atlethic Award at HF. She also received an award for participating in Track on the varisity level for four years. She will leave HF with a 3.2 GPA. I am pretty darn proud of her. She is focused, she is young and vibrant, she has a wonderful personality, she likes to have fun, she loves to dress up and dress down in the most colorful way, she loves high heels, and I am praying that life's journey will just be full of happiness, good fortune, and love. She will graduate today at 2PM. She wanted to go to church today, we won't make because of the early time that she has to arrive for graduation but we will pray and worship this morning at home. She will move on to U O I to run track as she pursues her college degree in Kinesiology.
That's about it for now. My financial picture is not much better but perhaps after radiation I can try to get back to work. The doctor did tell me that a lot of people work during radiation but didn't necessarily recommend working for me because I seem to have so many side effects with treatment. I am going to try acupunture maybe that will help get my bodyget into balance and I can torlerate things better. We'll see what will come out of the radiology consult.
Today I am going to enjoy Tyler's day!!!
Tomorrow I go to the doctor for my first radiation consult. So that starts soon. I am told that most people don't have a problem so I hope I can be among the most rather than the one. I will continue to work on getting my weight down. Everyone tells me I look good. It's good to hear but it's depressing for me to have the weight because I can't get into my clothes nor do I have money to buy new bigger ones. I just need to push back from the table and stop eating junk and I've been doing a terrible job at that. I do really need to loose the weight though because all of the research saids that women who are overweight (and I am over weight for my height and frame) are at a higher risk for recurrence of breast cancer. Now that I getting closer to completing the treatment, I ask myself often why this has happened to me and the best answer I can come up with is why not. It's hard to think long term into the future. I just take one day at a time. I do see other breast cancer survivors who live a long life so I know that's possible and also know that tomorrow is not promised to anyone.
I've been bothered by my scars lately and twice now God has told me that it could be worst. The first time I was complaining about the scars I saw a set of triplets on the news who had terrible burns. My scars didn't even compare. Then yesterday I saw a lady who's legs were scarred from a car accident. When she was telling about the scars she reminded me "you know where you've been but you sure don't know where going.
Well Tyler has been the highlight in my life of late. She came out of a funk at the end of her track season and kicked butt. She won three medals at state, she was voted MVP by her team members at HF and she was nominated for the 110% Atlethic Award at HF. She also received an award for participating in Track on the varisity level for four years. She will leave HF with a 3.2 GPA. I am pretty darn proud of her. She is focused, she is young and vibrant, she has a wonderful personality, she likes to have fun, she loves to dress up and dress down in the most colorful way, she loves high heels, and I am praying that life's journey will just be full of happiness, good fortune, and love. She will graduate today at 2PM. She wanted to go to church today, we won't make because of the early time that she has to arrive for graduation but we will pray and worship this morning at home. She will move on to U O I to run track as she pursues her college degree in Kinesiology.
That's about it for now. My financial picture is not much better but perhaps after radiation I can try to get back to work. The doctor did tell me that a lot of people work during radiation but didn't necessarily recommend working for me because I seem to have so many side effects with treatment. I am going to try acupunture maybe that will help get my bodyget into balance and I can torlerate things better. We'll see what will come out of the radiology consult.
Today I am going to enjoy Tyler's day!!!
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