Going Home

Well the day finally came to go home. I was able to eat, I had less pain, and I was sitting up on my own. Breyen and Baby Sister made the trip back from Homewood to Hightland Park to bring Mom and me home. The Hospital feed me breakfast, I got dressed very slowly and gingerly with MOm's help. The nurse showed Mom how to milk my tubes. Mom did one on her own, I could tell she was really uncomfortable working with the tubes but she did it anyway. I had four drainage tubes, two in my breast and two in my back. As I was preparing to go home, Dr. Krause stopped by to tell me their was a bit of a surprise in the pathology report. The results showed that there is cancer in the lymph nodes. He told me that I would have to have Chemo and possibly more surgery to remove more lymph nodes. He looked like he wanted to cry. He scared me so I asked if this cancer at this point is still something we can beat. He told me yes, but that he was sad because he really liked me and he told me that this meant more work for me. I told him, we would continue to work together to fight this thing. Mom had this totally disappointed look on her face. It put a sadness in my heart, but I'm still determined to fight.

I had been taking a narcatic oral pain mediciation and since no Doc's were coming in, we didn't know who we could get to write the prescription. Dr. Krause did that for me before he left the hospital.

As I was wheeled out I said good-bye to some of the nurses who took such good care of me. Then I was out in the fresh air. I sat in the back seat and had BabySister pipe up the heat. The ride home wasn't bad at all. I talked to Angie on the way home and then just sat back and took in the view.

It was nice to get home. The house was nice and clean. Breyen went to get me some shrimp. I think I ate one or two. My sister Katrina was here waiting. Everyone waited on me hand and foot. Later Trina left to go bowling. I know that all of this has been very hard on her. She's my softy. I didn't think she was coming back once she left. I was right because she called to say she had been drinking and did not want to make the drive back. I told her it was okay, but MOm told her if she herself was here that Trina should be too. So Trina said she would come back out of guilt. She did come back, she was still teary eyed. She laid down in the bed with me for a while and we had a chance to to chat. She was nervous about laying in bed with me, she didn't want to hurt me and everyone around me including myself seemed to be coming down with a cold. Trina milked my tubes and I got into bed.

I think everyone was struggling with what to do next. So Breyen, Ferlando and Shawna went out. Trina went downstairs to watch TV. And I went to sleep in my own bed unable to move beyond the spot where I laid down. And Idon't know if Mom ever laid down.