I did it better

Yesterday, I paced myself a little better. It was a major adjustment for me, but I must admit I did feel better. I got up and went to the club. Chris and I walked over a mile on the threadmill. Chris went on to do some lifting. Me I ran my mouth and then came home. When I got home I ate and laid down to take a nap. Now yall know that's different for me, I am not a napper. In my past life I would lie down to sleep during the day but sleep would never come. I told Tyler not to let me sleep more than an hour. I laid down and sleep came right away. It felt good. In exactly an hour, the phone rang and woke me up. It was Babysister calling to check on me. She had perfect timing because I did not want to sleep more than an hour. I wanted to challenge myself to continue my day without being completely wiped out. I did good. Babysister is struggling with a cold. I pray that she get's a hughe christmas present....peace! :).

Mom was here on Sunday cooking. I thank God for her, I don't know what I would do without her. I think we both struggle because we try to take care of each other. In my mind I know she wants to help me and will do anything to help me, but I don't want to burden her either. She's had a tough life and I've constantly pray that she will find some peace and happiness in her life. Not only do I want to heal for myself, but I don't want her to have to loose another child in her life time. We are opposites in our approach to things, I look for the positive, she looks for the needed corrections and that challenges our communication but God knows no matter what she is my angel sent from heaven. Love you Mom.

I had some visitors yesterday as well. Buggs came to visit. She is such a sweetheart. She brought me a fruit basket and fruit was so fresh. I don't usually eat a lot of fruit but I've been on the fruit in this basket, esp. the tangerines. Ferlando and Shawna stopped by for a few minutes. I get the impression that it is really hard for them to be around me. As supportive as Ferlando has been and I know he's been through a lot with loosing his dad. I just get the impression it's easier for them to keep some distance between me and them. I can talk to Ferlando on the phone but he seems to have a need to keep the face to face at a minium. For he and Shawna I know it's weird because I've always been the (I don't know the right word) leader in the family. It's funny watching peoples' reactions. Sometimes I feel like I'm sitting on the outsides looking in, it's a different perspective. Annie, Diane and Walter came by to visit me to . That Annie I tell you is one of God's special Angels. She's like a sister to me, a cousin, a friend and someone I feel I can share my deepest feelings. Having Diane here was good too, conversating with her is a "knowing". She has been through something similar, I hear her words but I understand , I know what the words are not saying. And to my suprise Walter came to visit He actually asked permission to come visit. I was glad he came to visit. Most men I know are afraid of me now, or let's just say they don't come around. I thank God for the men who have been consistent in relationship and communication with me. Louis is actually one of the men in the sense that he calls to see how I am, Guy Hampton who stops by on his way from work to see if I need anything, Walter, and Rev. Love. It's funny to see how men react overall. But you know I have a couple of female friends who can't handle being around me... I keep telling Anita I'm still me and Delores finally found the courage to come in to say hello. I love all of you!!!

Well off to the club at 5 AM in the morning, then a relaxationg treatment tomorrow night, if the weather holds up. Hopefully I'll get back to the blog before Thursday....next chemo treatment. Pray for a faster recovery this time and shoo away those side effects!

Holla at yall later.