A Busy Day

I got up this morning, took Maria to the doctor. Her wound is healing nicely. We went to breakfast and over to enterprise car rental. From there I dropped Maria off; met with Chris to work out. We ran three miles and then we worked out in the gym. Mom was there working out as well. Mom and I talked for a while. She's so funny, she's having fun watching Ferlando and enjoying his company. At the same time she is concerned and hopeful that things will work out. As far as my condition is concerned, it's nice to see her calmer and I feel better because she is calmer, at least on the outside. Before I left the gym, I stopped to talk with Sherri and Felifcia. They asked how I am doing and I told them that I am actually doing well. I don't feel any pain, I'm able to do all the things I've been doing all along. Felicia is always very positve and I like that about her. She saids maybe this is happening to me to help someone else, who knows. She may be right about that as I have been able to help Maria through her tough times. I've also come to understand what it feels like to be loved. I have received an outpouring of love. Family has been very supportive..one of the things that I hope will come out of this is bringing family back together. My friends have been awesome, acquaitances have reached out offering help and comfort, people have stopped me out and about and in the gym to pray with me, people are planning to be at the house with me after surgery so that Mom is not over worked and stressed...I don't have the words to explain. I actually used to think about what it would be like to really be loved...and now, it's a wonderful feeling!

Anyway after working out I had a chance to take a bath, get dressed to go to talk to the surgeon. I called Breyen to confirm that she was still going to go with me. I decided not to ask Mom or Babysister to go because I thought it would be good for Breyen and I to spend some time and she could ask the Dr. her own questions. She did go with me and she explained to me on the way to the doctor that she just didn't know how to deal with the diagnois. She said she does care, and she knows that breast cancer is serious but she didn't know what to do. This came out just as we got in the car together to go to the metra station. When we go to the Drs' office the surgeon explained to Breyen and I what to expect. I will need to arrive a couple of hours before surgery. I will go to nuclear medicine to receive a radio active injection that will help identify the lymp nodes. Later I will received another shot that will send blue dye through my system that will also help to identify lymp nodes. The dye will cause my urine to be blue for days after surgery. From there I will go into surgery and both the surgeon and the plastic surgeon will put there skill sets to work. The areola and the nipple will be removed because that's where the ducts live that host the cancer. The plastic surgeon will then make an incision in my back and remove a small portion of skin that he will use to make a nipple. He will then detach the lact muscle from my upper back and swing it around to my chest. From there he will decide how he will proceed (I see the plastic surgeon for details next week). Breyen thought this part was pretty cool. I think it's more like a science fiction movie or a highschool science project. Breyen asked a few questions and seemed satisfied with the answers. In fact later she told me that she like the Dr. because he's upfront and yet down to earth. I asked how long for healing..,. you know me always wanting to know when I can get moving. I'm not use to sitting still. However, the doctor told me that the first two or three days will be very painful. He told me to remember to ask the plastic surgeon if he was going to inset a tube for a pain pump. I don't know about all of that, we will have to discuss medications and side effects. But he thought I would be up and about in a week or two. I will have to very careful with my arm and they may not want me to move it for a while. I am going to try to be good but I am going to be so mad about not being able to move my arm. I know, I know...I'll be alive. I am not complaining....yet! :) I will be in the hospital for at least three days. In the mean time, I have to have a lot of pre-op work done so I will go to various Dr. appointments to get everything done. Then Breyen struck up a conversation with the Dr. regarding going to medical school!! We came home, I got a quick meal and off to the club I went.

Some time after surgery I will go back for another procedure to get a nipple. The areola will be tatooed on. I'll share more when I know more about that. I remain prayerful and positive, I think I must be crazy but "I'm good" at least for now. I wonder what it will be like when I wake up , worry if I will be the same. Anyway Tyler has decided that we should take pictures of me before surgery and that I should dress up, kinda as a farewell to my breast, and she thinks that all three of us should get a tatoo on our breast that will say "God Heals" We'll see how that goes.

I asked the doctor where did this Breast Cancer come from. He told me we really don't know. But there has been a lot of resarch...women who typically get breast cancer are those who have mothers and sisters who have had it (I don't fall in that category), women who took hormone theary (I'm not in that category) and then of course there's the food we eat and the hormones that were injected in cows, chickens, etc. Well that's definitely me and most of the rest of us. Well it is what is.

It's been a busy day and I need to get some rest. I know that I owe a lot folks calls you'll hear from me shortly. Clara I'm taking my "me" day this weekend. Thank you so much!

Good night!